Happy New Year

Alvin: Happy New Year, dog breath

Olive: Thanks, er, rabbit breath, what's New Year?

Alvin: New Year? Well, that's when one year ends and another one begins. Last year was 2008 and now it's 2009.

Olive: So what happens?

Alvin: Well, nothing

Olive: So, why are you telling me Happy New Year?

Alvin: Well, that's just what you say.

Olive: So....????

Alvin: Look, a New Year symbolises new beginnings and stuff. People wish people a happy new year so that hopefully they will be happy and successful and healthy

Olive: But, why didn't you wish me happiness and health and success before? Why just now?

Alvin: Look, it's just an expression really. People make all kinds of resolutions at New Year.

Olive: Reso-

Alvins: Resolutions are when you decide to make changes in yourself for the better

Olive: Like eating more chocolate drops and stealing the hay out of your cage, cos that would be loads better in myself.

Alvin: No, stupid dog. Mummies and daddies make resolutions like 'I will be more friendly' or like 'I will look after Alvin better and make him happier' or like 'I will always put Olive to bed before 9pm.' You know, things like that.

Olive: Or like 'I will always make sure Olive has lots of little treats and toys to play with to make her happy', or like 'I will give Olive as much of the rabbit's hay as she can possibly eat all the time forever'?

Alvin: No, not like that at all. Things to make the world better.

Olive: But, if they gave me more hay when I wanted, then mummy and daddy wouldn't shout so much or run after me and they would be able to sit down peacefully in the night to watch TV together and wouldn't miss any more programmes cos I was off destroying other things for attention, and then everyone would have peace of mind and no more headaches and next door wouldn't bang on the wall cos of all the shouting, and then probably the world would be a much better place. See?

Alvin: Olive, the world isn't all about you, you know

Olive: (blank)

Alvin: (blank)

Olive: Happy New Year Alvin

Alvin: Forget it.....